...But Home Is Nowhere

So I have been meaning to write another blog for quite some time, and I finally felt compelled to sit down and actually start to type one out. University is going well, but I am feeling really crappy and bored right now. Everyone is out tonight and I never got to go anywhere. I have lots on my mind and want to post it in this blog, hopefully helping me to releave some stress that I have and just confusingness that I am feeling right now.

Why does the root of all of the minds thinking problems seem to start with girls. There are the ones that you like, but realize will only ever be your friend and there is no way to change that. Yet deep down you really like them and have always liked them, but there is never a chance to be with them. Even though you know there is no point thinking about it, it always manages to stay in the back of your head and keep you distracted from many things. It comes to even bigger problems when this friend of yours comes to you asking you for advice about trying to get back together with her ex. What are you suppose to say? She is your friend so you have to help her in every way that you can. So here I am helping this girl that I like realize what she needs to do if she wants to get back together with her ex boyfriend. It comes an even bigger problem when you realize that they aren't really Christian and as Christians we are only suppose to date other Christians. How are we suppose to surpress feelings for people who are non Christian when they are all we think about? I have prayed about this but haven't seem to be getting any answers from God, but I realized that I need to be patient if I want to hear a responds and trust in Him. This is the same girl that I talked about in my first blog.

I tried forgetting about my feelings for her and found another girl who I hung out with and got to know pretty well. We chilled and had lots of fun and I thought that there may have been something. The next day she starts talking to me about this guy she had been dating in the summer, and how she met up with him last night and was trying to make things work out with him again. I was completely confused and my head just started spinning.

Why does complicated stuff like this always happen to us guys and how are we suppose to respond to these situations and the way our brains handle them? I guess the only thing I can do is pray that God will give me an answer of what I need to do.

The one song that keeps coming to my mind is a sone by The Rocket Summer on one of his older albums. The song is called Never Knew and this is what I keep hearing in my head.

"And no, none of it's true cuz I never knew youAnd now the truth of it is, is I wanna be like youSo hello, good friend, I wanna be next to youFor my head, for my heart, for whats true"

Maybe no if this was meant to happen and both these girls are only suppose to be friends and part of my witnessing...only God knows.

Dave "Zone" Tompkins

Casting Such A Thin Shadow

University has started and I have decided to start a blog. Not all things are as amazing as people think that they will be when they graduate from high school. I have loved every minute that has been happening at uni and enjoying everything here at UWO, but than there is the problems of what to do with situations that are beyond your control happen. God is always there for us and we know that He won't place us in a situation that we can't handle. But what if you meet a girl for the first time and are directly connected to her in ways that you can't even describe? Is that coming from God or are there other forces at work here that may not be the best ones to be following. I am confused about what to do and how to go about the situation. I have been praying about it yet don't know how to come to grips with the entire situation. How do you tell a person you barely know that you want to go out to coffee or get to know them better without sounding like a creeper.

All summer I was up at a camp called Ontario Pioneer Camp (OPC) and we learned all about sharing God's love to the kids who came up for their 1 or 2 weeks that they came for. As staff we learned about how God will never put us in a situation that is to tough for us to handle, or out of our control to deal with. He may put us in situations where we cannot do it without His help, but it is just him telling us that we need to learn to lean on Him and not try to do things ourselves. This is what keeps coming to mind when I think about this situation, I got barely any sleep last night because I kept thinking about it and not knowing what to do. It's also one of those situations that I am sure most guys have experienced the situation where you like a girl, but have no clue how she will think about you or how she will react if you even tell her. I may just play it cool like nothing is going on and just not be over talkative and things like that.

I just pray that God can give me some answers before I lose to much sleep over this situation. From the words of the song by Bryce Avary of The Rocket Summer... "You tell me to live." I will live the way that Jesus has paved for us and not let my heart be torn away from the Glory of God, because even in this horrible broken situation there will be beauty...There is always Beauty In The Broken. Whether it be people, or a situation there is always something beautiful that God will put in front of us if only we ask Him and search for it!


Dave "Zone" Tompkins